Owning her first House! (partially)

Yeappie!
Been trying so hard on house hunting and with all the hassle, rounds of negotiations and arguments, we finally settled down with the only one choice. With our budget (both down payment and monthly installment), we really can't afford the so-called 'Dream House' that we both really really want!

Let's tell you a bit about my 'Dream House'.
It's kind of near to town, a little up-scale housing environment. Which means your neighbors are mostly expatriates. The only grocery store around is also an up-scale one! A duplex unit of a condominium. Like those huge villa apartment we saw on tv. Especially MTV version 'My Cribs'. I was drooling looking at the sample unit and how I wish I could just say: Hun, I love this one. Can we take this? Frog Prince: Absolutely!
Dream House...Dream on!

Instead of living in my fairy tale, we are counting Ringgit by Ringgit every time we sit down together and talk about our choices and future bills. Living pay check to pay check like we both, buying the first house it's so difficult. There are times, I'm a little insatiable. I want this that and those! LOL. And there are times, I just wish Frog Prince could have more money so that I can get what I want! Of course there are times, I just jealous of friends whose the other half have no problem with the dollar sign. Everything seems affordable to them and they can just go enjoy their life, while mine working his ass off to pay bills!
Well, there are times I think of those. Not ALL the time, k?

But, I do feel everyone's world is not always a perfect one. You tend to lose something when you get something. Like opportunity cost. To those, whose the other half is rich/owing half his father fortune/living under the father house, I bet he needs to work hard to ensure there cash flow do not go down to a certain line. Or else, how is he gonna feed so many mouths/meeting your monetary demands?

For those like me, earning your own money and spending your own.Though choices are very limited in terms of what he can buy for you, but I bet these are the guys that will be there for you when you need them. 24/7.
So, the opportunity cost I am paying is the money to meet my lavish lifestyle that I want to have. But I'm getting a 24/7 partner in life. Whom I can depend on looking after the house while I partying with friends, doing house chores while I snoring on the bed and etc..

Someone said this to me before, even though it was history, but it ring so loud every time I complain about my Frog Prince. A guy is not successful if he tends to have small dream (not brave enough to venture into business, listen to his wife/gf, willing to lead a life on pay check to pay check). I was in shocked when I listened to those words and sometimes felt that it may be true on what these people said about Frog Prince. But, as we are trying our best getting our First House, it turns out to be I am so grateful to God that he is with me . It's tough but we both work hard together in order to get it happen. We both felt such a relieve when loan approved and SPA in progress. We both felt another huge relief when we found out we had exemption on stamp duty. It's a decision we make together and we are looking forward to our future. Every step we made, it's about us. Not me or you.

Anyway, when you open your mouth condemning my Frog Prince, I just hope karma will come back and haunt you. You have the cash that he doesn't have. But I am still quite sure, I have his loyalty that you 'may' not be able to give to your partner. You enjoy the fun stepping on him, but he is a professional and not living under his parents' roof! Got it? Take it from me man!

OK. I am a bit overwhelm with the fact that we on the way to own the house, and just can't wait to save more cash for renovation, furniture and fittings so that this little hut will be a beautiful sight to mark the beginning of my 30s life!

It's gonna be another few tough years ahead of us and just hope while working hard to make the cash, enjoying life with bunch of good friends, and at the same time spending time with mom and old bubu. Little people in big city with little dream...Simple but extremely hard to make it happen without effort and dedication. God, please spare me the dedication and patience, please. Amen!

Sometime, someone just undeniable stubborn, ignorant and over confidence!

It's been awhile since I work over the weekend and until at this late hours. While thinking all her friends are enjoying their Saturday night drinking and chatting.

I complained by mouth that I hate working on weekends yet, I know this is a job I cannot escape from until the very last day of drawing the salary from the boss.

The boss used to be a very good mentor and really appreciates all his guidance. And I do hope I can inherit his good points to my team. Yet, as time goes by, I really come think that I am a lousy team leader. I am so not motivated right now as team splits / staffs left at this super peak period!

Well, leaving this firm is totally their choice and I am not in any position to stop them.

Sigh...

I started with a friendly reminder..
Then with a joking tone of reminder
And lastly with the best 'stern manager look' warn her/him for the last time that you are given ample notice/time to done up the file. And please do it nicely. Yet, you assured me that things are done and you no need that extra time. Fine! After the warning that I will totally explode if you ruin the work!
You laughed it off as if I'm worrying too much.

When I first reviewed the few pages, my inner voice asked me to throw the file into the dustbin!
Wahlah..I won't do such extreme action as it will jeopardize my good name.
So I take my time reviewing page by page...but I couldn't really control my anger..
The anger escalate level by level as I view the ridiculous work you had done, ignorant style of presentation and over confidence of your comment! Gosh!

Sorry for exploding by emotionally wrote down the queries..
If you are sitting in front of me, I really not sure what I'm going to do..

Sigh..feel way better after expressing in my blog..
Another good way to release anger through words and de stress myself.

Anyway, this staff is useless to me as he/she already resigned.
My advises are not important in your life and please, go and venture your future far far away from me.
I can't work with ignorant people like you!

Seriously, how can you even say out proudly that you actually guided another colleague on how things are done? You can't even write good English for Goodness Sake?!

Ok Ok..way too personal and emotional now..

Need to brush off this anger mode..Luckily work finished and be going home with a good take away dinner + tv juices + fun time with bubu + can't wait for her beautiful Sunday!

But darn Monday! It you come so fast!

Cos u're amazing..Just the way you are!

Loving my CNY long break.
With no traffic and work, just sodas, chips and family time! Ah..beats off all the greatest vacation!
The first day of CNY, I was a bit emo. Seeing mom so happy and chippy dressing up and getting ready to celebrate her CNY makes me miss my dad even more!
How amazing it will be if he is still here with us!
Nevertheless, I wiped the tears and joined mom in dressing up and getting ready to take the road to what we used to call Grandma House. Which is now, Uncle Kayu's house.
Been staying close with mom for the first till fourth day of CNY. Just to make sure she has me all the time she wanted! To compensate the loss time that I chose to spent with work and friends instead of her.
Makes me hate my job even more!
Can I just opt for being a full time blogger yet earning the same amount of income?
ROFL..dream lar!

Then off for gambling and makan session with friends.
Not a very good year to gamble for me tho...
Lose a few hundreds and how I hope this amount of money can go directly to I-Want-A-Prada Fund!
Credits piling up and so little resources to pay it all off.

This CNY was a quiet one. At least better than last year fire tragedy!
ROFL..Mom is more cautious in burning and lighting up prayer's stuffs now. Thank God for the warning!

Anyway, I am sooooo into Bruno Mars songs nowadays.
My head is full of his songs and anywhere I go, I will sing along..
Loving all the songs in his CD
Just the way you are is just one of the bestest in his album.
You all should listen to : Marry You and Lazy Song!
Great lyrics!!!

Life Updates!

Life is pretty enjoyable PERSONALLY!

Been trying hard to organize some outing with colleagues and friends to fill up the extra time AND De-Stress!

So planned the Ketam Trip with colleagues and my photography skill is tested. I'm so loving my G12 and polishing up my skill from time to time though~~

At the Jetty of Ketam and trying to capture the eagle

At the Fishing Village

This reminds me of my roots. Loving the old stuffs now!

Old Street

The marvelous SKY and Sea - the creation of God! (minus the smelly sea water tho)

Using Vivid Color Mode 

Kinda perfect group shot (cos one is the photographer)

Even with cap and sunglass - cannot protect myself being burned by the sun!

After weekend in Ketam, I had a stressful business trip in Singapore. Working something not sure of and without precise guidance is terrible! Every minute is as dreadful as listening to Miley Cyrus sings. Ewww..But was enjoying the shopping spree tho~~

Ion Orchard Beautiful Escalator

SGD 29 coat! Sweet!!!

Special thanks to V-Queen for her relative great HOST service!

Shopping was superb and Big Thanks to the great hospitality from Ron and Agnes. The great sumptuous food from Ron and excellent shopping tips from Agnes. I end up burning a big OZONE hole in my pocket.

Hope to go there once again for absolute shopping spree...

Then weekdays passed with meeting deadline, entertaining client and answer the never ending demand from my bosses. While Chew busy setting up the Hen's Night for Yiling. The food was just average and I wont opt for another try. Then our theme is great and we are really outstanding among the crowd. But then, with more outgoing crowd, the night will be way better. Asian still cannot accept the "Hen's Night" concept. Booo to Asian! Was surprise by the creativity from the organisers. Hope mine (if ever there will be one) will be just a Spa getaway with the girls. Unless you can promise the crowd is super outgoing and join the fun!

It's Black & Bunny Theme (fringe too long - should get a hair cut!)

I end my weekend with Nelly & Hanson Wedding at Six Happiness. Great food (except for the fish) and private ceremony. The bride and groom smiling happily. What a wonderful way to end my weekend, welcoming my hectic work schedule on Monday! *Yawn*

The wedding of Nelly and Hanson

Another weekend to go before celebrating the Chinese New Year. Most probably will end up crashing Auntie Jane house playing mahjong and car car with Damian. Kind of broke due to overspend. Bonus Gone down the drain and hoping salary will make some ends meet..

Will keep my blog posted with events!

It's been a while

Was so crazy rushing deadlines and occupied by shopping spree lately till there is no time to keep this blog full of information bout my life here..Personally and at work.

Really sigh-ing every moment in office.

Work is not giving me any enthusiasm anymore. As I do not feel contented with responsibility and reward. Many say things will get better and I just need to be patience.

No one understand the reason for me to stay here with the same boss.

In beginning 2010, he is still the mentor in my career life and I am grateful to have him. But as clock tickling and dollar sign impact is getting bigger and bigger on him, he totally lose it. My faith is no longer staying with this mentor.

Now, he is just a boss. And I am just a staff.

Many think other team is working as hard as mine and thus reward on the same basis is a fair treatment. To me, this is totally not. I had the first firm PLC audit and second PLC is also mine. I had to deal with the SC and AOB and FRS and the other team still talking about small enterprise audit. Work load just the same. From job allocation to chasing payment from client.
Really from A-Z!!

Yet, you are rewarding the same amount!You told me the reason is because I am not qualified.
This is rubbish! The other team is not too and why this same sentence is not applicable to them?
Your used to be motivation words had now turn to rubbish to me.
I am so influenced by the dollar sign. Thanks to you!

This year reward it's still the same.

Ip Wind said: let's wait till 26 of January. See what he will come up to us.

Honestly, I have no hope nor faith anymore.

I am so disappointed. My hard work on creating the PLC work and GAI is equivalent of someone doing small piece audit. I am not saying my work is perfect. But still, I am the one who started it!

Thanks to the opportunity for the business trip to Singapore. The experience is worth it. It concludes on how small I am and how big the market out there.
I am a hardworking staff with half useful brain and knowledge. I deserve way better treatment than all of these.

After completing these 2 PLC for 2011, it should be the end of my journey here. Not to say to have more faith in him, but rather polishing up my audit in PLC so that my CV looks better.

To my team, you peeps are great. Please don't let the above post influence your judgment on your career with this firm. The first 3 years are always sweet. Enjoy but pack you bag after that! ROFL

Frog Prince sure said, I will not leave this firm until the day I die.
Even you do not understand me.
That is even more heartbroken.
Sigh...
But this also shows how different I am to the others.
Boss, you once said this: no one is irreplaceable. Staff comes and goes.

You lost my sifu once. She is hard to deal with but I truly agree she is a good staff to work with.
Now, you will be losing me.
I am not saying, I am irreplaceable. But I can confirm, you can never find a staff work this hard like me.

Hmmph!

好久不見, Daddy

Dedicated to my memories with my dad.

Amazingly touching lyrics.

I miss you daddy..

There is no genuine friendship in work

Another heavy overwhelming topic today.

IpWind told me what the other colony had been talking behind my back.

I was saddened by the way people address me.

Not only that, I was impressed by how that satay seller can twist and turn the facts and framing me for things I did not do.

Luckily there are handful of witnesses that speak the truth.

Not because of my position. I did not corrupt these witnesses. They believe in truth. 

Like X-files: The truth is out there

Maybe I am being too honest and having high hopes that there is genuine friendship in work place. Regardless position and age. I've been working in the same company since my graduation. The company was small and we worked hard together as a team. But there was competition among each other yet it was healthy and fruitful at the end of the day. Regardless how the company grows, we still stick together as a team because everyone of us has only 1 goal. That is to work hard and earn the salary.

So as I move up being a leader of a team myself. I had few rounds of setback.

Being a stern manager did not help much for the first strategy.

So I changed to become a friendly one.

Then as time goes by, I have attachment towards my team because I am dealing using the 'friendly' card.

But, because some actions by satay seller and the script writer, my team turns against me.

Maybe because I dealt the cards too well that they had forgotten I am their leader.

As things happened, they crossed the line and I exploded.

I naively thinking by exploding to them will be a warning sign before thunderstorm hits.

Again, how stupid I was.

They eventually think that I am choosing my team members. Those who listen to me will be preferred the most and those not will be condemn at work. 

This disappoint me dearly.

Though I may not be a qualified leader. But I am a leader with quality.

My mentors taught me well and never in their lesson that they taught me to go against your own leader in work and personally. Everyone has the right to a level of respect. If you disrespect your leader, please bear the consequences. But facts are twist and turn as it turns out I am a leader with preference of team members.

How dramatic.

If that is true, you should see you are sitting at the top of my preference list.

Because I sincerely guided you in every way I could and cutting your path so that it will be smoother. Of course you earn your title with your own hard work. But without a 1% of my help, I don't think you will be successful too.

Therefore, our Chinese powerful word: 飲水思源

Please do think about your actions now. How your leader will be hurt if you turn your back against her? I am disappointed by your actions and dearly hurts. I am unsure what will be my next strategy. But continue to work hard and prove myself in front of my mentor is the ultimate goal. My mentor likes me for my work. Not the friendship I created at work.

I do read books about how to be a good manager. I know I am not there yet. But being a stern and unwelcome manager is not the key to success for a team. Well, being a friendly one didn't prove to be any better. I am still pondering on how to become a good leader. Guess I have lots more to learn and develop before calling myself successful.

Today is eve of Christmas. I went to church for a celebration that is different from the previous ones. I enjoyed it because it helps to soothe my mind way off from the disappointment. I am having such a dilemma situation that even my FB status are so depressing. Just to confirm I am another emo freak.

Thank you for passing through my life both work and personal. Your presence and action is very much appreciated because I've learned a lesson from you. I do hope you will also take this as chance to mirror yourself. If you do feel bad or sorry, and want to come clean with me. You are still welcomed. But the door will not be open for you forever. Please grab the chance while you have.

Of course for script writer and that evil satay seller, you both did an amazing job by killing a genuine friendship. It's ok that you hate me. I do love that you hate me. You hate because you are jealous. Jealous the boss loves me more than you. Jealous I earn more than you. Jealous I am a manager and you are not, Jealous I have supporters but you only have your own colony. If you think I quit this drama because I give up. That is so wrong. I quit because I am here to work. Not msn-ing, creating dramas, thinking what my colony will be doing next, how to make the boss like you more than me. I'm here to work for my career. You are small as an ant. And I can kill you with just my fat lil thumb!

Adios bitches.

May you rot in your own world.

P/s: btw, if you think the above post English is hard to read. That's why you are just an exec staff and I am a manager.