Saturday, December 25, 2010

There is no genuine friendship in work

Another heavy overwhelming topic today.
IpWind told me what the other colony had been talking behind my back.
I was saddened by the way people address me.
Not only that, I was impressed by how that satay seller can twist and turn the facts and framing me for things I did not do.
Luckily there are handful of witnesses that speak the truth.
Not because of my position. I did not corrupt these witnesses. They believe in truth. 
Like X-files: The truth is out there

Maybe I am being too honest and having high hopes that there is genuine friendship in work place. Regardless position and age. I've been working in the same company since my graduation. The company was small and we worked hard together as a team. But there was competition among each other yet it was healthy and fruitful at the end of the day. Regardless how the company grows, we still stick together as a team because everyone of us has only 1 goal. That is to work hard and earn the salary.

So as I move up being a leader of a team myself. I had few rounds of setback.
Being a stern manager did not help much for the first strategy.
So I changed to become a friendly one.
Then as time goes by, I have attachment towards my team because I am dealing using the 'friendly' card.
But, because some actions by satay seller and the script writer, my team turns against me.
Maybe because I dealt the cards too well that they had forgotten I am their leader.
As things happened, they crossed the line and I exploded.
I naively thinking by exploding to them will be a warning sign before thunderstorm hits.
Again, how stupid I was.
They eventually think that I am choosing my team members. Those who listen to me will be preferred the most and those not will be condemn at work. 
This disappoint me dearly.
Though I may not be a qualified leader. But I am a leader with quality.
My mentors taught me well and never in their lesson that they taught me to go against your own leader in work and personally. Everyone has the right to a level of respect. If you disrespect your leader, please bear the consequences. But facts are twist and turn as it turns out I am a leader with preference of team members.
How dramatic.
If that is true, you should see you are sitting at the top of my preference list.
Because I sincerely guided you in every way I could and cutting your path so that it will be smoother. Of course you earn your title with your own hard work. But without a 1% of my help, I don't think you will be successful too.

Therefore, our Chinese powerful word: 飲水思源

Please do think about your actions now. How your leader will be hurt if you turn your back against her? I am disappointed by your actions and dearly hurts. I am unsure what will be my next strategy. But continue to work hard and prove myself in front of my mentor is the ultimate goal. My mentor likes me for my work. Not the friendship I created at work.

I do read books about how to be a good manager. I know I am not there yet. But being a stern and unwelcome manager is not the key to success for a team. Well, being a friendly one didn't prove to be any better. I am still pondering on how to become a good leader. Guess I have lots more to learn and develop before calling myself successful.

Today is eve of Christmas. I went to church for a celebration that is different from the previous ones. I enjoyed it because it helps to soothe my mind way off from the disappointment. I am having such a dilemma situation that even my FB status are so depressing. Just to confirm I am another emo freak.

Thank you for passing through my life both work and personal. Your presence and action is very much appreciated because I've learned a lesson from you. I do hope you will also take this as chance to mirror yourself. If you do feel bad or sorry, and want to come clean with me. You are still welcomed. But the door will not be open for you forever. Please grab the chance while you have.

Of course for script writer and that evil satay seller, you both did an amazing job by killing a genuine friendship. It's ok that you hate me. I do love that you hate me. You hate because you are jealous. Jealous the boss loves me more than you. Jealous I earn more than you. Jealous I am a manager and you are not, Jealous I have supporters but you only have your own colony. If you think I quit this drama because I give up. That is so wrong. I quit because I am here to work. Not msn-ing, creating dramas, thinking what my colony will be doing next, how to make the boss like you more than me. I'm here to work for my career. You are small as an ant. And I can kill you with just my fat lil thumb!

Adios bitches.

May you rot in your own world.

P/s: btw, if you think the above post English is hard to read. That's why you are just an exec staff and I am a manager. 

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